Posts tagged jsykes
Posts tagged jsykes
With each passing year we were granted access
at a higher level, key-cards swapped for thicker,
more laminated plastic, more personal details
included, less grainy pictures – although ageing
did come into it, and made us feel not bad,
but uncomfortable, queasy even, as if comparing
several photos would produce the sudden sinking
sensation accompanying a lift finding its floor.
Of course we were glad of all the added mod-cons,
and I guess somewhere, someone, thought somewhat
more of us – yet the interior changed very little.
The paint from the last coat was barely dry.
I got some on my jacket brushing past it this morning,
and now perhaps others will guess at it; I don’t
have time to run it through the machine. I sorted
my face out and used the moments I had left
to blow upon the walls a little more fiercely,
fetch a hairdryer, more sunlight – anything.
I’m peering from the conversation-bubble once again
at a landscape behind or aside from the one right there.
I read this morning that life on Earth began on Mars.
Perhaps we should have never been the blue creatures
we turned out to be. Imagine the epiphany-touchdown -
a childhood home utterly forgotten – revisited: a picking up
of where we left off before the great diversion, sent up
this blue-green creek with only cracked paddles and half-belief.
mmm that’s what really does it for me
the sense of something secondary
going on beneath the surface
the thing triggered by a closing door
or an unspecified look between two
people you thought up till now you knew
and then here it comes the moment
we change gear the optimum point
of artist’s flex the chance to show off
something sexy and mysterious well
I forgot my cape the one that sweeps
in the undying breeze the one made up
of other peoples’ personal details and guess
what I don’t even look at myself twice
in the mirror anymore hey I’ll trade you a thin
disguise for a one way colony pass then bolt
I will not become hysterical as the creature runs
across the hall. I will not call you at the points
when it seems I can do nothing else.
I will settle for writing down what I would
have said and then deleting it a month later,
thinking to myself ‘controlled explosion’.
I will not allow my heart to beat harder
or faster than it needs to beat; I will erase
all references to the heart from now on,
both as an organ and as a metaphor
for a reservoir of love, feeling, the most
woundable point for love-related pains,
and for the physical manifestation of anxiety.
I can now trap insects carefully and calmly
beneath glasses, slide under the paper
and take them outside, without fear or worry.
image macro by jsykes
Did an Internet Poem I did
videos of space shuttle launches are enough
to leave me a cried-out wreck for a morning.
I’ll ask you not to put on your suit & go
but only because I’m coveting that soaring sensation,
the total chain-release of never coming back.
vulnerability’s the fashion we both look best in.
escape velocity depends on a vital confidence in image.
dramatically remove & replace your glasses
in darkened rooms while humming a theme tune
to experience an entirely new perspective.
how was it for you? obviously not worth telling
someone else about, it being one of those things
nobody believes actually takes place.
some of it is left out because there is the expectation
not to be boring while other stuff stays dormant
due to inaccurate articulation; it’s up to you
to decide which is a more legitimate reason
for silence. no one really wants to be confronted
with the fruit machine levers of a person
and a sign reading ‘pull for images’.
Was that what you meant when you said those things
I’d never heard until now, your bell-toll-echo?
I don’t want to fuck another year over.
I think I genuinely did just need time.
Realisations strapped into passenger seats & driven
by time-commuters leap out, knock me to the asphalt.
I’m totally ready to discuss a host of things, to have
six seasons and a movie of cool and cute adventures.
I sometimes wonder if we are responsible
for ourselves at all, or if we are actually
always guiding and guarding the lives
of another – a far better system,
I think you’d agree, it often being so hard
to see what’s wrong just by using a mirror.
The eyes of another, meanwhile –
we will never truly cross that endless plain,
ascend the mountain of their understanding.
It is frightening but relieving to admit
we will never have the greatest view
of ourselves, can always rely on someone
else to push us in a corrective direction.
And other things are changing too.
Every day the boat nudges the riverbank
and every day we push off again
with the splintering oar,
motion being preferable to everything.
Things take longer but are still completed
and are better for the time taken.
The cameramen take longer getting
the perfect shot but when they do
we actually look pretty great,
all things considered. Stand still
a moment. This will form part
of an establishing shot – the director
will then cut to the scene next imagined,
use a coloured filter to make it dreamy.